hope.

sad things happen in life. it is part of life. it is the way we learn to appreciate the good. for the past few days i have been struggling to find why these sad, terrible things hit me and overwhelm me with emotions, almost to the point that i am experiencing the grief of the family the tragedy has struck. why is this? why do i have to feel like the the sad is so strong? then i came to realize a certain something. since i lost anna, the hardest thing i have had to endure in my life, my senses have been heightened. i am coming to believe that when something tragic happens to someone, they go one of two paths, one to numbness, not feeling the good or the bad. and the other to rawness, feeling everything on a different level. i cry easily at the good and the bad. i hear of someones sorrows and it breaks me. to learn, after having a a life so blessed and basically so unafflicted with any harm, that unfair things do in fact happen, has been an almost unteachable lesson to me. i still feel like a 3-year old child and want to yell "but that is just not fair!" so when i know my best friend is having to go to her cousin's 4-month old baby boy's funeral today because he died of sids days ago or of a stranger being burned from a plane crash and not able to care for her 4 children, i am beyond sad. but if i had to go through the path that makes me raw, i will take it. though it hurts and is hard, it is worth not being numb to the good. and there is good. and there is hope.