me in black and white.

yesterday i was reading a blog and the author was stating how "mommy blogs" only post about contrived happiness and not real life. i will admit, i am not gritty and cynical in life, but do i lack substance because of that? i write about happy things because they make me happy. my kids make me happy, my husband makes me happy, my family and friends that surround me make me happy. i have to admit, motherhood to me IS all rosy. sleepless nights, changing diapers, screaming kids...it does not get to me...i have no reason to complain about it. i am not perfect, my children are not perfect...i want them to know this in life because to me perfection is imperfection...the differences in us, the parts that are not finished, these are the reasons to live! if i WERE to complain about something it would be about injustice and cruelty. children being neglected or abused, a friend left without a mother lost to breast cancer, a mother left without a child lost or taken. it certainly would not be about my husband getting home late because he is working hard for us or about my daughter pouring her juice on the floor only for the reason that she is done with it. so here it is my attempt at a gritty, non-fluffy perspective. there is no picture on this post as typical of my others. it is only in black and white. not rosy with colors.

99 non-kid-centered things about me (99 only because 100 would be too typical):
1. i need caffeine in the morning no matter how unhealthy it is.
2. i am not a control freak.
3. i hate things that are out of my control.
4. i do not like my nails to be painted for two reasons--i think it looks out of place on my hands and feet and more importantly i hate to have to remove it.
5. i love flowers on my porch but i hate to water them so they typically die.
6. i love math, am horrible at geography.
7. i play the woman card when it comes to changing light bulbs---i always make todd do it!
8. i grew up with a live-in playmate but did not realize my sister was my best friend until college.
9. i learned the hard way losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a mother.
10. i love to eat at fancy restaurants.
11. i wish i could drink beer and not get a headache.
12. i truly do have the most caring and giving mother in the world.
13. i was a nerd until 8th grade summer.
14. after 8th grade summer, i was not a nerd.
15. my favorite part of my body would have to be my hands.
16. i wish i had green eyes.
17. i am thankful i was with my husband the night he found his brother dead.
18. i hated calling my father-in-law to tell him.
19. family vacations growing up are my fondest memories.
20. we need to take more family trips with our kids.
21. i have the dad that everyone wishes they did!
22. i love dogs.
23. i wish i was a vegetarian.
24. i have to take a shower EVERYDAY right when i get up.
25. my favorite place is new york city.
26. i think that the happy birthday song is the worst sung song ever written but i love to i sing it and watch people blow out the candles.
27. i think it is pretty gross that people blow on birthday cakes and then we all eat it.
28. i love the smell of good perfume.
29. i love the smell of my husband and love the fact that he would never wear cologne.
30 i love manly men (my hubby specifically).
31. i am drawn to smart people.
32. i am annoyed by bad grammar, however i do not mind typos.
33. i love to organize.
34. i love to take pictures and look at good photography.
35. i hate to be in pictures.
36. i do not typically laugh out loud at movies.
37. i laugh out loud every time i watch "knocked up."
38. it bothers me when people do not include the punctuation inside the end quotes. (see #37)
39. i did not learn much academically in high school or in college besides proper grammar and how to find a good parking spot.
40. i did learn a lot in graduate school.
41. after graduate school, i worked for 2-years and have been a stay-at-home mom since.
42. regardless, i do not think my degree was a waste.
43. as a child, i liked books, barbies, and fancy clothes.
44. as an adult, i like books, babies, and fancy clothes.
45. i love reality shows and dance competitions.
46. i like to dance only when i am drinking.
47. i love to play drinking games when i drink.
48. i like to play music while i am cooking.
49. i was in my middle school teacher's wedding.
50. i always liked my teachers.
51. i do not eat breakfast.
52. i wish i could eat mcdonald's, but i am trying to eat healthier.
53. i love french fries.
54. i do not like when people lie or exaggerate.
55. i married my high school sweetheart.
56. i question people that do not question their religion.
57. i hope there is life beyond death.
58. i am scared of death.
59. i am good in a time crunch.
60. i am typically organized enough to not get in a time crunch.
61. i wrote papers for my husband in college.
62. by the end of college my husband was doing all his own work and graduated magna cum laude.
63. my husband knows a lot--really.
64. my husband knows a lot of people.
65. i do not socialize enough.
66. i like to get to bed early and watch TV. (see #45)
67. i lost 20 lbs. recently just from switching from regular to diet coke and eating lean cuisines.
68. i needed to lose 20 lbs. because i had gained weight from a pregnancy that left me heart-broken and without a baby girl.
69. i ache for my daughter anna.
70. i love to dress-up my daughter grace.
71. i spend money on clothes for my children and none on clothes for myself.
72. i have shoes that are way too old.
73. i saved my wedding shoes.
74. i loved my wedding.
75. i wish i had better pictures from my wedding.
76. i would like to renew my vows in las vegas!
77. i slept in my parents bed until i was 10.
78. none of my children slept in their crib.
79. grace still sleeps with us.
80. i love to snuggle.
81. my husband requires very little sleep.
82. i need to sleep.
83. i wonder if florida is where we should be living.
84. there is a hurricane due here in 3 days.
85. school starts back for my kids in 3 days and i am sad to see them go.
86. i love love love my kids school.
87. i do not like competitive sports.
88. i do not like competitive people.
89. i love that my husband skateboards.
90. i am so clumsy i was called olive oil.
91. i thought turtles changed shells thanks to cartoons.
92. i only had pet dogs as a child.
93. i cannot imagine having a pet snake and feeding it mice.
94. i am for animal rights.
95. i am for children rights.
96. i think that women that are for women-rights need to realize that they are being hypocritical for expecting more than equality---college grants should be based on performance and need and not race nor gender.
97. my children are blind to color and i am so proud of that.
98. i love to talk about my children, take pictures of my children, be proud of my children, but i do need to not revolve my life around them...maybe one day when they are older. for now i love being a mom!
99. i love colors...not too fond of black and white.