SERIOUSLY!

well, after many long weeks of waiting, we received notice of refusal to pay ANYTHING for our water/mold damage in our kitchen. get this, they said unless the water damage was caused by one of the following 11 reasons they would not cover it:

1. fire

2. hail

3. explosion

4. riot or civil commotion

5. aircraft, missiles, or spacecraft

6. vehicles (not owned by resident)

7. smoke (but not from fireplace)

8. vandalism or malicious mischief

9. theft

10. volcanic eruption

11. sinkhole collapse

so in other words, the fact that our refrigerator accidentally was left open and the icemaker leaked all night is absurd, however if a volcano decided to pop up in central florida or a u.f.o. landed on our roof, they would be more than happy to help us. todd is saying that we purchased a $5200 piece of paper instead of an insurance policy. oh and the topper is that they will not cover the mold remediation or loss of use (note that we paid extra to have better coverage on mold and loss of use) as it is due to water. of course, then i ask, "what else causes mold other than water?" and they have no answer. so i guess this scenario would have been covered:

"good morning, thank you for calling our claims department. can you describe your claim?"

"yes, good morning," i say as calmly as possible in light of the situation.

"i am calling from florida. i know this sounds completely NUTS however, last night we woke up and discovered that a u.f.o. had flown through our neighborhood and caused civil commotion and rioting. apparently, it used hail as weapons which caused a large explosion in my kitchen area. "

"yes, ma'am. i am getting all of this. keep going."

"at that point, a vehicle (not owned by me, i think it belonged to one of the aliens), crashed directly into the kitchen and destroyed the cabinets. this of course caused smoke which i think it of course the cause of the mold we had to have removed (now that is totally clear to me as of course mold is from smoke---everyone knows that!)."

"yes, that makes total sense to me as well."

"okay, i know that all so far seems to be logical, but this next part is a little crazy. at that point, a large, well, actually, gigantic volcano arose in our backyard. well, i guess that is not that crazy now that i am saying it out loud. but anyway, it erupted of course. that part was kind of neat since as we do live in florida my kids have never seen a volcano erupt. i am SO glad we had that covered on our policy. i truly never knew it was a covered peril, but boy am i glad it was. well the lava came into our kitchen too and seeped under our house and caused a sinkhole."

"wow, all that must cause you loss of use that you paid extra to have coverage for. "

"yes, you are correct. we did pay extra for that."

"well, the good news is that you are completely covered for everything you have experienced."

"oh, thank you. also, in the midst of all this commotion, we then notice that overnight our refrigerator was left open water leaked out."

"okay, ma'am. we appreciate you calling. in light of all that has happened to you overnight, we would have been willing to cover everything entirely, but with the water damage that we do not cover we are denying your claim. you see the water caused all of the loss. the aliens in your neighborhood feed on the water from your ice maker, therefore calling them, causing the hail damage, civil commotion and rioting, explosion, car crash, smoke damage, mold, volcanic eruption, sinkhole, and loss of use. we are more than happy to upgrade your current coverage in case a situation of this nature happens again. if not is there anything else we can do for you today?"

"seriously?"