greener grass

i love green grass. i typically, however, do not wish to be on the side with the greener grass. for me it is not always "greener on the other side", i just work harder to make my own grass grow. though, it is hard for me when my beautiful grass turns to shades of brown, especially in times that no matter how hard i tend to it, it just is beyond repair. but, i think that when given the option to jump that "fence" and head to lush, i will stay. i think that i am beginning to see that truly the grass is not always greener on the other side.

since an early age, i was passionate about becoming a physician. emergency rooms and hospitals thrilled me and still do. a few semesters into college, todd (then my fiance) and i decided that a life as a doctor would interfere with my desire to be devoted mom, so i went the route of speech-pathology hoping to have a nice mix of medicine and life. once wyatt was born, i leaned even further to the life side and completely left my life of working.

now, though i never want to leave my life as a full-time mother, often i wish i could have 2 lives where i could live out my dream to be in a hustle-bustle ER. the other day, as i went from class to class at the kids school, trying to fulfill my volunteering duties, one of owen's classmates mom's stopped me. she typically is not able to "pop" into school as she is a cardiologist and works long hours. on this day, she had a day off, but could not tell her daughter as she would beg for her to be at school volunteering. she then went on to say that her daughter begs her to be home with her and not work. i said "oh, i so wish i could "live" my days in a hospital" and she said "oh, i so wish i could live my days not in a hospital." she said she would never again have done it the same. so when, for an instant, to me the grass was greener on her side, to her the grass was greener on mine. so we are left, not jumping fences, but just keeping on our own sides tending to our own yards, appreciating our neighbors. can't wait for spring!!!